I was raised in a household with the news on. As a child, I heard numbers and words I didn’t fully comprehend, but I could feel the reactions of my family and infer the rest. Bad things happened, and they happened a lot.
My Nana was a victim in multiple armed robberies and muggings, I was a victim of child sexual abuse, my schools playground was destroyed by a man with a hammer. I used to sleep with my head tucked under my blankets, childishly hoping that they could protect me from would-be intruders and assailants. I was six years old.
Many young adults today have no memory of a world before 9/11. We have grown up in a world where extreme security measures such as metal detectors at airports, and SWAT teams at stadiums are commonplace.
We have been taught, implicitly and explicitly our whole lives to avoid an ever-present threat of attack. Is it any wonder then that we have anxiety?
This is before we delve into the subject of deadly mass shootings. Students & young adults today live with events such as Sandy Hook (2012), Pulse (2012), and Las Vegas (2017), fresh in our minds while we go about our lives.
The more inflammatory parts of the internet may make school shooter jokes, but beneath the humour is the very real fear of becoming a victim. It is simply harder to identify gallows humour when an entire country is at the gallows.
Adding further fuel to this proverbial fire, is the upwards trend in hate-fuelled attacks on those of racialized peoples, LGBTQIA+ community members, and members of minority religious groups. Increased transparency about the rates of sexual assault on college and university campuses, alongside awareness and precautions, has created an air of anxiety for at-risk students.
We have been faced our whole lives with the inhumanity people are capable of, and taught to expect it from anyone and everyone. We teach “stranger danger” while ignoring the abuse that goes on in our homes, creating a world where nowhere and no-one is safe.
Is it any wonder then that amidst the decay of small towns and local communities, we are forgetting how to build meaningful connections?
Interpersonal relationships and meaningful connections are strongly tied to feelings of resilience and well-being. We are in an era where in-person relationships have become further strained following the social incarceration of the ongoing pandemic. As a result, mental health is declining, communities are shrinking, and the most vulnerable are being left behind.
Now more than ever, we must relearn how to be in true community with each other. How to encourage one another to thrive, without worrying about what impacts their success may have on our own. We must connect with each other meaningfully, intentionally, and wholeheartedly.
We must build bonds that we can rely on in dire times, and in bountiful ones.
This is the work that Sprout Together seeks to achieve. To create a foundation of knowledge from which we can build a thriving community. One based in empathy and compassion for each other.
War in Ukraine, climate change, the absolute state of global politics.
There’s a lot of reasons to feel existential dread right now. To have a vice gripped around your heart – half grief, half dread. Your chest feels tight, perhaps even to the point of aching. Breathing feels confined. Perhaps your blood runs cold, venomous through your veins with want for stability and hope.
You can stop living like this. Walk with me, as we venture through the garden of growth.
The “Worse” Before the “Better”
Take time to sit with your existential dread, your feelings of terror, your deepest fears and worries and concerns. Sit with them, and truly feel them in their full intensity.
Let your body shake with fear, let your tears flow freely. Feel the weight of an oppressive future in each of your limbs. Let it consume you.
Now, process it.
Procedures for Processing
Write things down, create art, bake cake, scream at the top of your lungs into the vast nothingness of nighttime to feel kinship with the wolves.
Put on music, loud, angry music. Feel your heart thrum with the baseline.
Talk to someone. Ask them what their hopes are for the future. Remind yourself that there are people who fall in love every day, babies are born, young adults graduate with bright eyes & hope. No matter how bad things get, there are a few immutable beautiful things about humanity and our continued existence that we can focus on.
Take a walk through a field of flowers, reconnect with the nature around you. Get lost in your city, find somewhere new to eat.
And when all of the above is done, and your existential dread is still there – nagging quietly at the back of your mind – take control.
Fuel Your Fire
Your dread can debilitate you, it can become so large, so overwhelming, that it paralyzes you.
Or, you could harness it as fuel. Wrap your dread in a blanket, swaddle it like the wriggling petulant child it is.
Find your drive, whatever that is. What motivates you? What do you want to achieve? Now, take that squirming, swaddled, baby of dread, and toss him into the furnace that fuels you.
From now on, when existential dread rears its head, rather than paralysis – think fuel.
YES!!!! Things are objectively terrible, focus on what you can control.
Anxiety Is Motivation
We feel anxiety in a multitude of circumstances. Before a test or a job interview, for example. In these situations, the anxiety we experience motivates us and helps us perform better. Without test anxiety, we would have little to no motivation to study for the test. Without job interview anxiety, we might be too relaxed and forget to do our due diligence in asking questions.
What if we could treat our existential dread the same way? Instead of viewing it as an unhelpful monster that sits on your shoulder, reminding you of all the ways in which you’re powerless. Use those reminders as an opportunity to twist the narrative of your dread. Okay, so you can’t change who is currently president of the US of A, but you can change how much news you read about it. Or how often you read the news. Or your social media consumption. You can also use that anxiety to start making changes.
Recent events have made mutual aid and community networks more important than ever.
Go for a walk and talk to your neighbours. Spend some time in your local parks, get to know the people who frequent them. Make new connections.
People Are The Problem – And The Answer
Connections are key. Make sure you know your helpers and healers. Get connected with your local community, an online community, or a small batch of weirdos you find at the local mall. Whatever suits you best! Connect with someone you can talk to, really talk to. Someone who will listen to you vent your insecurities about the state of the world, someone who will reassure you that sanity exists somewhere even if it’s in smaller portions than you’d like.
Hold your loved ones fiercely, tightly, and closely. Don’t let go. Now is the time to rebuild bridges that have burned, you may not have many more opportunities to do so. Spend your energy wisely, treasure those who show up for you. Focus on what, and whom, matters most.
There is a lot of pain in the world right now, a lot of hurt, and a lot of violence. Resist the urge to perpetuate the cycle. Resist the urge to give in to anger, or hopelessness. Give yourself the gift of peace.
If you’re struggling to find peace, you might need to attend one of our workshops! Talk to your HR rep about bringing Sprout Together into your workplace.
Do you love to sleep? Is your bed your favourite place? Or perhaps you’re someone who fights it until the last second, wanting to claim every moment as your own. We all have a relationship with sleep. Often it’s shaped by the habits instilled into us as children. Perhaps you had a strict 7pm bedtime, or perhaps you drifted lazily into the nighttime hours. As adults, we walk a fine line between two camps. One praises sleep deprivation as a mark of the high achiever, and the other prioritizes wellness above productivity.
I won’t tell you which camp you should fall into, instead we’re going to talk about what sleep, and sleep deprivation, actually does.
Sleep — Your Body’s “Repair Mode”
We’ll start with sleep. Think of sleep like a computer “Repair Mode” for your body. All that stuff we do while we’re awake has stopped, and our body has time to process and heal from the day we just had.
Your brain takes the information you’ve learned & stores it for you, your own file management system.
Your cells start to repair themselves, and release energy and hormones. They try and balance everything out after all that stimuli sent your bio readings out of whack.
Your muscles build themselves back up, after exertion has worn them down. Proteins synthesize, and tissues regrow.
Did you know that sleeping is when your body manages its hunger levels? The two hormones relating to feelings of hunger, ghrelin and leptin, have their levels regulated during your sleep cycle. Ghrelin impacts your appetite, while leptin creates the feeling of being full. Irregular sleep can lead to an elevated level of ghrelin while suppressing the level of leptin, leading to an increased caloric intake and potentially weight gain.
Sleep also allows your neurons & brain cells to reorganize, and for your glymphatic system to clear out any waste (toxic by-products that build up in your brain over the course of the day).
Sleep impacts almost all areas of your brain’s ability to function, from concentration and problem solving to creativity and decision making.
As a result, sleep and mental health are deeply intertwined. Sleeping poorly can hasten the onset or worsen the symptoms of a mental illness. Likewise, a mental illness can contribute to poor sleep. As you now know, sleep is vitally important for many areas of bodily function. From your organs to your brain. So why do so many of us wear sleep deprivation as a badge of honor?
Sleep Deprivation — A Silent Killer
First, let’s talk about what sleep deprivation is.
Sleep deprivation is dangerous. Driving while sleep deprived or drowsy can and has caused motor accidents. Furthermore, while sleep deprived your judgement and reactions are impaired, which can lead to injuries and/or falls that otherwise may not have occurred.
We already discussed that sleep is when your brain stores and sorts information, so it makes perfect sense that one impact of sleep deprivation is the occurrence of memory problems. Alongside decreased focus, frequent changes in mood, weight gain, and an increased chance of early death.
If you don’t get enough sleep, it will affect you from head to toe. When you’re dealing with extra barriers to functioning, such as neurodiversity or mental illness, sleep becomes even more necessary.
Our already compromised ability to function becomes compromised further, ADHD symptoms worsen, sensory overload occurs more easily, perhaps you, like me, get irritable & easily agitated.
All this is to say that a recipe for a healthy day starts with a healthy night’s sleep.
Tips & Tricks
Of course, it is not always that simple. Here are some tricks that you can use to fall asleep:
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Flex a group of muscles. Tense them as hard as you can, really squeeze.
Hold it. Hoooolllldddd itttt. Keep holding.
LET GO !!!!!!!!! RELEASE THE TENSION !!!! LIKE A DEEP SIGH FOR YOUR MUSCLE
Repeat until unconsciousness with different muscle groups
Midnight Meditation Method
Set up a comfy TV show. Ideally, set it up on a laptop or phone, something you can tuck out of sight. A TV works too.
Get comfy. Get the blanket, the pillow, the teddy bear you’ve had since childhood. Snuggle your loved one if you have one to snuggle.
Close your eyes.
Now, focus on the sound coming from your TV. Really focus, don’t let your mind wander from the dialogue, sound effects, the foghorn of the Brooklyn Nine Nine opening.
If you’re someone who can visualize things, now is the time to visualize. Paint their faces, clothes, and scenes. Bring them to life with the sounds you hear, and let your mind take you to another world.
How long can you follow along, keeping up with changing your visuals along with the narrative as it progresses? How long until you fall asleep, drifting seamlessly off to dreamland?
Next time you think about powering through the moonlit hours, pause and consider the bigger picture. Is the sacrifice you are making to your health and well-being, worth what you are spending those hours on?
If it is, by all means, power through. Sometimes a situation calls for a late night, and one or two probably aren’t going to kill you. But if it isn’t, maybe it’s simply time to go to bed & get some rest.
Perhaps, you can learn from my mistakes. Allow me to set the scene.
Fifteen Years Old. Dull-eyed and depressed, caught in a vicious cycle of self-harm, pill popping, and alcohol consumption, I would also frequently pull all-nighters to yet further escape my emotions.
I sat down at my desk in Language Arts. I had just consumed what is known as, A Big Monster™. I had been awake for over 32 hours.
A boy is seated next to me. He is awkward with me, and mentions the book he’s reading. He hands it to me, expectantly.
I once read over 100 books in a year, I LOVE BOOKS. I wanted to be an author before I pivoted to mental health education & indie game development.
I couldn’t fucking read. Next time you’re debating an all-nighter for work, or play, or roleplay – remember me, fifteen and over-caffeinated, under-rested, rendered illiterate.
Maybe you’d like to learn more about my shenanigans as a messed up teenager? I teach through lived experience, sharing anecdotes about my personal life & getting into the reality of mental illness. I believe in bonding through shared stories, in healing through connecting, and most importantly, in teaching practical tools that actually work.
